Nine Years
by StillLovely
Summary: *Glances at title* Wow, that sucks. Nine years ago, Kendall Knight lost his dad. Now, on the anniversary of that tragic day, he grieves, but not alone.


**Author's Note: ** This story... I can't even explain it. I was looking at photos from September 11, and it just came to me. I couldn't stop it, and while it's short, I really like it. I think it works. I'm not too pleased with the ending, it feels almost rushed, but I can't bring myself to change anything about it.

This story is dedicated to all the families that lost someone in the attacks on September 11, 2001. While it's been nine years, it still hurts.

**Disclaimer:** No ownage going on here. *Sad face*

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Nine years. It's been nine years since he died. Nine years since he and Katie had been left fatherless, since their mom had been left a widow.

Nine _fucking_ years.

It seems like only yesterday that Kendall's father left on his business trip to New York. He always went on business trips, Kendall remembers. His father was an executive to the bank where he worked and was always away.

It didn't really matter though, because when he came home, he brought hugs and kisses and presents. He'd take Kendall to hockey games and Katie to the park. He would cook romantic dinners for Kendall's mom. He was the perfect father and husband, always making up for his absence in a way that only he could.

But that trip, the one to New York nine years ago. That was one that Kendall will never forgive his father for. If only he had said no, or gone a day later. Kendall and Katie would still have a father and his mom would still have a husband.

Kendall remembers sitting in his fifth grade classroom, arguing with Logan over something that he now knows was completely trivial. Mrs. Hawthorne, the fourth grade teacher across the hall, came rushing in, telling Mr. Downs in a panicky voice to quickly turn on channel twelve.

Kendall is almost certain that he'll never get those images out of his head: the burning buildings, the crying people, the smoke, the ash. He sometimes wonders if his father even made it out of the building, at least for a split second, to catch one last glimpse of the blue, blue sky before the building collapsed and the billowing smoke cloaked the city in darkness.

His mother came to the school not an hour after the news had been turned on. As Kendall left the classroom, his best friend's eyes following him in concern, he knew his life would never be the same. Somehow, in his ten year old mind, he new that nothing would ever be the same again.

He was right.

Now, nine years later, he sits atop the roof of the Palm Woods, staring up at the night sky. It's a full moon, and for once, you can see a million stars.

Kendall feels a shiver fun through him and silently chastises himself for not bringing a jacket. It's been surprisingly cool for September in Southern California the last week, and Kendall wonders if the weather knows what the day is, what it means.

"Kendall, you're going to freeze up here without a jacket."

He turns at the sound of Logan's concerned voice and smiles softly as his friend lays a blanket around his shoulders.

"Thanks," he whispers, not really trusting his voice. Logan doesn't answer, just sits down beside his friend, close enough that their shoulders and legs touch. He knows, from nine years of doing this, that close contact keeps Kendall calm.

Kendall pulls the blue blanket tighter around himself and leans against Logan just a little more. A moment later he hears the door to the roof open and close and then James and Carlos are on his other side. Carlos presses a cup into his hand and one sniff lets him know that they've made him hot chocolate. Kendall feels tears prick at his eyes and tries desperately to hold them in.

But then James has an arm around his shoulders and Logan is holding his hand tightly and Carlos has a hand on his knee and suddenly, Kendall just can't keep it together. The tears slide down his face and he begins shake with the effort of trying to not begin sobbing.

Kendall is truly thankful for his friends. James just uses his hand to pull Kendall's head to his chest, murmuring softly "Just let it our, Kendall. It's okay." And no other words are needed. Kendall just willingly buries himself into his friend's side, letting out all the grief and sorrow.

His three friends just surround him in a hug, holding him tight. No one says anything, and no one needs too. They know Kendall needs this, because without them around, he'll just bottle it up, and explode.

So for now, they just hold their friend as he cries. Later, they'll head downstairs to watch comedy movies all night, joined by Katie and Mrs. Knight. They'll snack on any food they can find and they'll laugh until their sides hurt. And like clockwork, Katie will fall asleep on Kendall's chest, where she feels safest. Mrs. Knight will head to bed, telling the boys to not stay up too much later.

And finally, the four best friends will drift off. Kendall, always in the middle on these nights, will fall asleep first, on someone's shoulder, pulling Katie closer to himself even as he dreams. Slowly but surely, James, Logan and Carlos will follow.

They know this because they've been doing it for nine years. And they know that they'll keep on doing it, until Kendall can let go of his past. There is no way in hell that the three boys are going to leave their fearless leader broken and grieving on the anniversary of his father's tragic death.

And so they sit, holding him close, fighting off the memories and demons within.

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**Author's Note:** Like I said, pretty short. And I'm still questioning the ending. But it wanted to be written, had to be written, and I believe that it came out like this for a reason. I don't think "Hope you enjoyed it!" fits here. So I'll just say, I hope that it did today's memory justice. Let me know what you think.


End file.
